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The Crafty Maid's Policy / The King and the Fair Maid

[ Roud 1624 ; Ballad Index Pea214 ; trad. arr. Frankie Armstrong / words Gudrun Walther, Sandra Steinort; tune Gudrun Walther]

Frankie Armstrong sang this song on her LP Lovely on the Water. It was later included in the 4CD Topic compilation, The Acoustic Folk Box. A.L. Lloyd commented in the original album's sleeve notes:

As a prose tale this joke has been current at least since the days of Beaumont and Fletcher. Versified into a song, it had probably been circulating for a long time before Disley of St Giles, London, printed it on a broadside c. 1860. H.E.D. Hammond heard it sung to this tune by a grand singer, Mrs Russell of Upwey, Dorset in 1907. Mrs Russell has affection for songs about girl tricksters, and on the some same occasion she sang the ace and deuce of crafty maid songs, The Broomfield Hill.

Gudrun Walther and Sandra Steinort of Cara wrote their own version of this tale and called it The King and the Fair Maid. Cara recorded this for their album In Colour and live DVD In Full Swing.

Lyrics

Frankie Armstrong sings The Crafty Maid's Policy

Come listen awhile and I'll sing you a song
Of three merry gentlemen riding along.
They met a fair maid, unto her did say,
“We'll afraid this cold morning we'll do you some harm.”

“Oh no, kind sir,“ said the maid, “You're mistaken
To think this cold morning will do me some harm
There's one thing I crave that lies twixt your legs
If you give me that, it will keep me warm.”

“Then since you do crave it, my dear, you shall have it,
If you'll come with me to yonder green tree.
Then since you do crave it, my dear, you shall have it,
I'll make these two gentlemen witness to be.”

So the gentlemen lighted and straightway she mounted,
And looking the gentlemen hard in the face,
Saying, “You knew not my meaning, you wrong understood me.”
And along she went galloping down the long lane.

“Oh gentlemen, lend me one of your horses,
That I may ride after her down the long lane.
If I overtake her, I'll warrant I'll make her
Return unto me my own horse again.”

But soon as this fair maid she saw him a-coming,
She instantly then took a pistol in hand,
Saying, “Doubt not my skill but you I would kill,
I'll have you stand back or you were a dead man.”

“Oh, why do you spend your time here in talking?
Oh, why do you spend your time here in vain?
Come give her a guinea it's what she deserves
And I'll warrant they'll give you your horse back again.”

“Oh no, kind sir, you're vastly mistaken,
If it is his loss, well, it is my gain.
And your were a witness that he give it to me.“
And away she went galloping over the plain.

Cara sing The King and the Fair Maid

It was on a beautiful evening in May
Fa la la …
When a lady was walking a lonesome way
Fa la la …

The king and his soldiers came riding along,
They'd been away from home so long.

Chorus (after every other verse):

She was young and fair,
The birds were singing in the air.

They suddenly stopped when they spied the maid.
“Why are you walking alone so late?”

“I'm on my way from my grandmother's home.”
He said, “This is a dangerous place to roam!”

“So come with me to my castle grand,”
He smiled at her and he kissed her hand.

“There's one condition before I agree,
There's something between your legs I'd like to see.”

The king he blushed and dismounted his horse,
He wanted to take the lady by force.

She jumped upon his horse so quick,
He soon realised her insidious trick.

“Farewell, dear king, you're generous and fine,
What's been between your legs is now between mine!”

Chorus:

And then she went away,
Over the hills and far away.